No problem, Berly!

A bipolar diagnosis really is a tough thing to deal with - acceptance is a process that can often take years. Working with a therapist can help with that, as well as coming to understand how bipolar has affected your life and developing better skills to manage it moving forward. At the same time, having the diagnosis can really be a relief, knowing that your challenges have a real reason, and a prompt for self-forgiveness when you realize that you're not entirely at fault for "bad" behavior in your past, and that you can try to do something to prevent it in the future.

Yes, bipolar is unfortunately associated with crazy; that's what stigma is all about. I personally prefer to own the term and refer to myself as crazy when among sympathetic company. However, it's important for us and the broader public to understand that this is an illness which is not our fault and that we did not choose. Research has shown with fair certainty that bipolar disorder is a primarily organic condition, meaning that it's a result of having different wiring and chemical balances in our brains, which is why most people with bipolar disorder both need and respond well to the right medications.

If you're willing to commit to helping yourself, it really can (and likely will) get a lot better, and sometimes in ways that you never expected because you didn't realize they were even possible. It's not easy, especially at first, but it's definitely worth putting up a fight to have a better life. Another thing that will be very helpful for you is to learn all you can about bipolar - read all the books at your library, share books on how to understand bipolar disorder with family members (if you're comfortable with that, there are some books specifically for that purpose), and get the knowledge you need to be your own advocate and take better care of yourself.