I am on xanax, lowest dosage, I take twice a day. More if I'm going somewhere I know will be really challenging (new places, new people etc.) I don't really know what you mean by physical causes, but my doc says I'm healthy otherwise. I do think it's hereditary as I've heard it can be because me and my brother both grew up with my dad, but I got it just as bad as him, but my brother didn't. And seemed to have come on quite suddenly in my early twenties.

What's really bad is the isolation something like this brings on. I would so much like to have friends, but without being an outgoing person it's really hard. Hard to make friends as an adult anyway. I have friends,but their all online. And I love them, but it's not enough. I mean sometimes you need actual people, friends that you can go places with and talk to on the phone. I don't know, I just feel stuck. I go to school, but I can only take 1 or 2 classes at a time, which is really nice I love to go, but I can't really make friends there because most of them are quite a bit younger than me.

Also, how do you guys deal with meeting people? I mean, it's not easy for people to deal with someone who's so "weird" with the way they have to do things. I mean I know that if someone were to get to know me, I lighten up and I'm worth knowing, but I don't really blame people for being turned off by all the initial **** they have to put up with to get there. It's just not worth it for someone you don't even know yet.

@shezbut, trust me, I'm more frustrated with myself than anyone and I try to "suck it up" and sometimes it does work and other times it just makes me feel more guilty about my limitations. I have tried therapy, but with the insurance I have being on disability, I can't really get anyone who knows anything about my specific condition. Most of them are social workers.

I know there has to be a way out of this, or at least a way to accept it and still have a contented life. I just haven't found it yet.