Hi all!! I had one of the worst nights of my life 2 nights ago. My 3 year old woke up screaming. My hubby went to go see what was wrong and she started throwing up! I was still laying in bed and when I heard her get sick I FROZE. I seriously couldnt move. I started shaking and got all hot and cold and couldnt move. I couldnt talk, either. I 100% thought she was going to die. My hubby took care of her and cleaned her up and brought her in our bed. I felt her and she was burning up! So once again, i just sat there while my hubby gave her some meds for her fever. The whole time this was happening I was so nauseas, shaking like I was having a Seizure!! I was absolutely terrified. She finally ended up falling asleep between my hubby and I and every time that I tried to lay next to her I would start having another panic attack, cause I could feel how warm she was!! So I had to move to the couch. Once there I started to do my breathing exercises but every time I heard her move, cough or talk, I would have another panic attack. This literally lasted ALL NIGHT LONG!I didnt take my klonopin cause I was afraid I would throw it up. I was sooooo nauseaus. I called my therapist in the morning and we are going to work on how I can cope with this next time. This is only the 2nd time my daughter has gotten sick, so I think thats why it was so hard for me. It was also hard cause when I usually have panic attacks they are cause I think I am dying. This time the thought of my baby dying was soooooo hard to go through. I dont really know why Im writing this. I guess cause i cant tell anyone else cause they will think I am A. Making it up or exxagerating B. They might think I am a bad mom. I am NOT! I did feel like one that night, though. I was crying the next day and felt horrible. So I guess I was wondering if you guys have any suggestions, also. I see my therapist on Monday, I just hope I am ok til then.

On a side note, I was having these seizure-like things happen to me every few months for the past couple of years. My primary doc sent me to a neurologist who sent me for a Brain SCAN, EEG, and a whole bunch of tests. They all came back negative, there are no lesions on my brain, so the doc doesnt know what they are from. Well, since I had one that night, I believe they are part of my anxiety. Its crazy what your mind can do!!

Thank you for listening!! It means alot!! XOXO