Boy, I wish I had the answer for you, but I'm pretty sure I don't. Like you, I had partial memories but did a really good job of just kind of turning my back on them and not looking at them, minimized them in my mind, etc.

It's been so long ago that I'm having trouble piecing together how it all happened (sorry about that).

I had names, faces, places, dates, etc., but the details were all but non-existent. My T cued in on the names I used to refer to these people; there was a marked difference between what I called the woman and what I called the man, and he found that indicated that more had gone on than I was willing to recognize. So, one day, he walked me through that house, from the front door and through every room, having me talk about what I remembered about those rooms. I just followed along and trusted him to be by my side as we looked around. We hit one particular room and I could remember what happened there in kind of a brief snapshot sequence, but had a really strong physical/emotional reaction to what I was remembering. He just slowly allowed me to pull up the details as I turned the snapshots (which were one dimensional and neutral and really my protection) into the stories behind the snapshots (which were three dimensional and loaded with emotion/sensation).

I have since taken a similar journey with my current T into the room that I am most afraid of. I haven't been able to piece it all together there. T suspects I was so dissociated at the time of the event that I probably won't ever get a full picture of that room. But I know enough. I'm okay with that.

I've come to a place where I believe I know all I'll ever know about those weeks in that house. I can accept that. I know what happened was brutal and life altering even if I don't have all the details. I know I took beliefs about myself and the world around me out of that experience. I can work on those beliefs without having to know all the details. As my T says, it is a memory of something that happened a long time ago. It isn't happening to me now, and won't happen to me now because I'm an adult now and wouldn't for a minute allow myself to be treated that way ever again. I have the power now that I didn't then.

That probably doesn't answer your question, but I guess sometimes we have to accept that what we know is all we will know, and instead of focusing on the graphic details, we need to focus on what became of us as a result of whatever we went through (even if we don't exactly know what it was). Work with where we are.