An abuser, a predator, have a sneaky conniving way of manipulating the ones they abuse into thinking that they are some how at fault. I tell you what, it don't matter if you were 35, you were the one who was victimized and violated.....it don't matter if you walked around in your under wear....there's absolutely no excuse for a person to violate you! You are not in fault whatsoever...so please sympathize with yourself...try to understand from a different perspective.