When you get stuck and can't talk, is it in response to a question that your T asks you or do you start the session not talking? Most of the time it happens on the way to the session. I can feel it coming on. Nothing has to really trigger it. There is something about walking in her office that makes me completely shut down at times.

Do you feel safe with your T? Yes, I am comfortable with her. Even though I don't like her, I like her. That is crazy, but true.

Do you know why you can't talk? I am not sure. She talks to me, but I won't answer her. I ignore her. Is that not weird? I sometimes turn my chair away from her so that I don't have to look at her and she can't look at me. If I start to cry, she can still see that. She will ask me what the tears are about. I ignore her. She hands me a tissue. I ignore that. I am totally being a defiant brat!

Can you accept that you have to communicate a different way when you can't talk? Just write notes back and forth to your T and don't get anxious about not talking? When I shut down like that, we have often written back and forth. I bring a notebook with me everytime just for that purpose.

Is it when you're talking about hard things or just anything? Probably hard things. Sometimes I feel like she is tired of me and doesn't really want me there. This is that negative tape playing in my mind. When those thoughts come right before I go into a session, shut down will happen for sure!

Silence in therapy isn't necessarily bad, though. Maybe you just need to sit there for awhile and try not to judge the silence. I feel like I am wasting money when I do that. If it takes me 30 minutes to get started, we still have an hour to work on things. Often times when I have a terribly hard time getting the courage up to talk, we meet for longer. I feel that I am taking advantage of her. Then again, she is the therapist. She can tell me when it is time for the session to end. We have gone 2 hours many, many times.

I'm sure you'll get other responses because it's a more common problem than you think. You're not alone!!!