Ditto basically all of what shipping has said Enhancing what you already have is a great way to feel better and help you come to terms with how the situation currently stands. Maybe you can also talk to others who feel similiar to you and help support each other? A lot of people experience what your currently going through - your definately not alone. Either that or you could try and seek professional help if you don't already - especially if the urges become all consuming and start distracting you from other areas of your life. Good luck.