Wow, what an interesting thread! Net506, you are receiving valuable and meaningful advice. I do not agree with much of it, but it is all interesting and people seem to be very civil in their disagreement. How refreshing! Also, as others have noted, you are so smart! Your writing is very very good for a non-native speaker of English. I admire your choice to devote yourself to your family. I imagine the religious culture you are from makes being gay a very sorrowful issue. And yet you seem so focused and determined to seek truth and make the best decisions you can make. I know some people are pulling for the side that says to get away from your family and cultural disapproval. But I also know that one day family will be everything to you and you may even grow old wishing you had grandchildren; family is very important. I can't really offer advice; these are just observations. Best of luck to you; you are a fine person.