All the time summeryoga - although i try not to let my illness define me, i wonder at times how or even who i would be without the symptoms ive come to experience for so long. In the long term though i know i can't go on self harming, restricting my eating, treating the ones i love the way i do etc etc. I wonder where ill end up sometimes - and that frightens me more than not recovering. Remember, people with BPD can experience huge problems with identity - but then you could argue that no one ever stays the same person through out their life. I would just try being a little kinder to yourself and remember sometimse recovery comes more slowly and naturally than we ever expected. Message me if you need to talk