|
Jan 28, 2012, 01:34 PM
|
 |
|
|
Member Since: Jan 2012
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 814
|
|
" She is never satisfied with anything I do. She'll watch me in the kitchen when I'm cleaning up after dinner and waits for every little mistake I make, and calls me useless, clueless, i have no common sense... etc. She makes fun of my brother too because of his ADD and how he struggles with school, calling him stupid, an idiot, etc."
Boy, can I relate to some of what you said! I grew up with a step-father who did the same thing. Luckily, he didn't do it so much to my siblings, but chose me as his target. (This made it easier for me to escape later on.) I heard myself called such bad names so often that I couldn't get them out of my head, even as an adult. Stupid was one of them. I finally went and got an IQ test to prove to myself, once and for all, that I was NOT stupid. And I'm not.
Try not to let the names she calls you become your identity. Remind yourself as often as you need to that you are not stupid, lazy, clueless, useless, or worthless. You are a smart and valuable person. Remind your brother. Take an index card and put it where she won't see it, but you will, and write on it that you are not stupid, etc. Look at it every day.
As for cutting, it's not easy to stop, I know. I did it too. But it is worth it. The scars you make now, will remind you forever of just how bad it was. You will want to overcome your bad feelings, and that will be hard if you have a mess of scars. Your promise to your mom was a good one. Hang on to it! Remind yourself she loves you, and wants what is good for you, otherwise, she wouldn't be taking you to a therapist.
Meanwhile, keep posting. We'll keep helping. 
__________________
That which does not kill me makes me stronger.
|