Haven't been on in quite a while. Wanted to ask all of you the following:
1. Even if you know someone's behavior (whether a family member or just another individual) is toxic; and
2. Even if you stand up for yourself,
3. How do you get rid of the annoying thoughts in your head that maybe they're right and you're an idiot?
Those unhelpful thoughts are probably from childhood when I had little self-esteem and family was rather controlling.
Remember wondering as a child, "am I crazy?" Was told by two separate counselors that I was NOT and the family behavior was at times ridiculous. That helped. A little.
No matter how much I know logically that it's ridiculous, that their behavior is wrong, I can't seem to eliminate those thoughts completely. Or (getting even more silly) the feeling of guilt I have for standing up for myself. I still will, in an assertive but not rude fashion, but that guilt persists. They may not know it's there but I do. Or are toxic people like dogs, able to smell fear (or rather, guilt?)
Will perhaps if not too embarrassed give more details later but wanted to put this out there and hear some ideas. Thanks so much!