<font color="#00088">Lexi -

I get paranoid JUST by waking up in the AM, hearing the phone ring, hearing the mailman leave the mail, and basically ANY type of stimuli whatsoever.....

I've been homebound for months and I've literally quit counting........ Just to get a pack of cigarettes is an all-day task... Driving my car has become a chore as well.... I don't trust myself bcuz I have to stop 99% of the time bcuz I just KNOW soemone is waiting to hit me...

Right now, I ended up destroying my laptop two nights ago and dind't even know it... The only thing I remember was that someoen was trying to talk to me through it and I couldn't get them to stop... At about 2:30 AM, I was thrown back into my bed and told what I did to my laptop... I denied and denied and denied it... Then again, no one was in the room but me; so the proof is right there..........

You're not alone - we're not alone - and we are at the mercy of these disorders/diseases.... GOD do I just hate to wake up anymore... Why can't it all just end??? That would be a blessing, not to mention a RELIEF!!!!!

~Niko </font>