So the mania I've been suffering from for the past month or so which lead to psychosis and suicidal thoughts and a hospital admission is fading.

Good right? Well apparently not. Because now I am beginning to suffer from a depressive episode. It's one of the ones you can feel coming on. Yesterday I experienced a slight yet temporary mood dip. It wasn't overly severe, but today it happened two or three times, once again not that severe.

But I can say that now, crying and getting severe urges to self harm, it is definite I am entering a depressive episode. Of what severity I am unsure at this moment in time. Obviously I'll refrain from self harming as I have to go back to hospital on Sunday and I won't get discharged in the week, which I hope will happen (I'm asking nicely, I swear! )

Admittedly, due to the mania, I haven't been taking my meds since I got out on home leave (Wednesday night). Tonight I shall begin taking them again...even though I know I'll get crap loads of side effects and they most likely won't kick in again before the depressive episode hits.

Let's hope it doesn't go down too much eh? Don't want to land up in another 6 month admission.

Sorry for plaguing you all constantly for support and not giving any support myself. As soon as I'm back to normal I'll start posting again I promise. I feel so guilty for asking for help from you all the time.
RB ♥