I have a very good friend who went from the hospital to the streets because his family would not take him back. I'm not going to say his life is all rainbows and daiseis, because it definitly isn't, but he did get through it. He has his own place now, and a job.

If you end up homeless, do take use of shelters and programs. Try and see if you can stay at one of your friends houses for a month or two, or even just use their number and address on a resume, and then try and find a job.

From someone who's on sick leave right now because of mental illness, even if you can't hold down a job you can still try and do it, get fired, get the paycheck, and apply to somewhere else pretending that didn't ever happen.

Something my friend, and now I've found out my mother as well, knew how to do was live on 2$ a day. It is possible (I still don't know how, but it is!) and even if things get that bad they will get better.

Being suicidal will pass, please know that. Next time something wonderful happens, remember it, and think of how you'd never have seen, done, or experienced that wonderful thing if you'd gone through with it. I've been doing that since my last really big suicidal phase. Though there's a story there.

You sound like you've got a lot of very rough terrain ahead of you, but if you keep fighting through it the place you come out to will be good, and you will have the skills you need to make it great.

Sorry if that was not very helpful or emotionally supportive.... I just want you to be okay, make it through tonight, and then find a way to make it through the rest.