Likewise, my father would get angry very quickly, especially if he lost control of a situation, and he too has many characteristics of aspergers (though he has never been diagnosed and I doubt he ever will). I wouldn't call what he did to me abuse (slapped and spanked, primarily, which was basically the 'acceptable' stuff for when I grew up), but I definitely lived in fear of his temper.

You're absolutely right that having a condition that *may* have made him more prone to be abusive doesn't excuse the behavior. I'm sorry that you're having to deal with the aftereffects of that though.