Hi granite, im so sorry your feeling this way sweetie You are most certainly not a waste of space - the fact that you opened up to us on here suggests that you care for your future and just need a little help and that most certainly makes you a valid, important person

I always tend to feel hopeful even if the situation seems hopeless because we never know whats around the corner and to try and predict otherwise is futile - we're only human and experience a huge range of emotions, with extreme sadness comes great joy and exuberation. You just need to patient and a little kinder to yourself. You won't feel this way forever, the fact that you went ages without cutting means you do have it in you to change you just have to try and hold on. Maybe consulting a doctor if you don't already would help move the situation along? We're all here for you hun, message me if you need to talk