I guess in some ways I do put too much pressure on myself but, I also feel like my t and prov put pressure inked too! Ive always been hard on myself I really don't know why. I guess I just strive to be a better person than what I am and try to look up the expectations I put on myself. I'm afraid that all this is going to land me in a hospital. I know my t would like me to be there for some time to focus on things, and sometimes I want to but I'm so scared. The labeling, what others will think and the damage it could do in the long run.

I just wish I could go Ba k to having a life were I didn't feel tormented everyday. I don't know how things got so bad...I cant believe I did this to myself!