Sunday morning.

Had one of my house dreams which I've mentioned here before. They're very infrequent, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised another one appeared, but I really thought they were behind me. They seem so much to be about figuring out who I am, and I thought I'd figured that out. Maybe all this meditating and stuff has stirred the pot, and here I am at 50 trying to figure myself out.

In the dream my son was cleaning his room out and rearranging it. He was taking out old furniture. Then, since he didn't know what else to do with it, he was shoving it into my room - where I already have enough furniture. So I'd try to get into my bedroom, and I'd find a huge desk or table in the way, and I'd have to move it out. Finally, after about the third one, I told my son, "I don't want these things. Let's put them out by the curb for the garbageman." So we took the old table onto the deck and were going to throw it over onto the driveway, when we saw that someone had already placed a very large beautiful brand new picnic table on my driveway in the spot we were going to drop the old table on. The neighbors on either side were moving the picnic table from one house to the other and had paused to rest.

My son was leaning on the railing of the deck, so he could talk to the neighbors below. I was worried the railing would give way, and he would fall. Then I noticed the railing on the other part of the deck had already collapsed. I pulled him back and warned him that the railing wouldn't hold his weight, don't lean over it.

We went back inside, and - this is the part that makes it one of my house dreams - discovered a room downstairs that I wasn't aware of. It was completely empty (which I was relieved about because I didn't want more clutter to deal with) except for an old-fashioned pupil's school desk in the middle of the room. On it was an old diary that my younger son was keeping at some point in the past - probably when he still lived at home. I noticed the room had a door which lead out to the side yard, and the door was unlocked. I wondered if my younger son had deliberately left it unlocked so that he could get in and out of my house without me knowing. I felt a little tired but resigned that I couldn't keep my son out - or at least control when he enters. I left the door unlocked.