Thanks for your replies and I am sorry that it has taken me a while to post.

I dont know...It is space and time I suppose. I feel like I am missing something.

I love my husband with every fiber of my soul. I always have. From the first time I met him. I have never felt so horrible and torn then I am at this very moment. I sat there last night listening to my hubby tell me that his heart is breaking and that all the faith in me was tarnished and I had this sinking feeling in my stomach and I wanted to throw up. I dont want to make him feel this way. I wish I didnt feel this way. I hate this.