Well, hi iq, from your username, you know what the right course of action is. You're just choosing not to take it.
Going off your meds can and probably will make things much worse than they already are. Are you in therapy? If not, you probably want to find a T as soon as you can. Your meds sound like they might not be as fine tuned to you as you need.

Please take the time to think really hard about this. It's not a good idea, any of it.

Stay safe.