I have a book called "Sometimes I act crazy - living with borderline personality disorder" it was made for people with BPD, their loved ones, and their therapists. Its easy to read. At the end of each chapter (each chapter deals with one trait) they give suggestions on how to better handle that trait and things that you can do to ease the intenseness.

My SO and I have been reading it together on and off. I'll read a chapter, then he'll read it and we'll discuss if I have those traits and to what degree. Then look at the "action" plans and try to figure out what works best for me. I hope this helps.