earthmamma: Well, she did finish that sentence but I can't remember her exact words. It was something like "you can find someone else".

Soup Dragon: Thanks. She knows I don't want to leave him. I think she wonders "why not?"

growlycat: No, you're not overstepping a line. I think in my case it's that neither of us is working on our marriage but I complain about it; he doesn't.

Perna: I did tell my T that I thought about it years ago but that I'd never do anything about it. I've always been dependent, would never have gotten along on my own, or never wanted to risk it, never would have done that to my H, either. In other words, I did not want to admit that maybe I made a mistake. I tend to stick things out, even marriages.

I think I see what you're saying but I'm not exactly sure. It's true that I could have left my marriage because I wasn't getting my needs met. Needs that I've been getting met through my pattern with other people and Ts. It's also true that I haven't been trying very hard with my H. My T says I tend to "check out of my marriage." So, I resorted to the wrong kind of daydreaming. The better kind would have been: how can I reconnect with my H? Constructive daydreaming. Instead, I've gone my separate way with some of my dreams, which is good!! Now I have to get back to my H and see if I can make things better.

CantExplain: Do you mean that my T went beyond what I said to what she thinks I may be thinking but am too afraid to think? Could be true. probably is, but it's too late now. I'm not going anywhere.

ECHOES: What you posted is more therapeutic. I just have a feeling that my T was honestly thinking about loud and telling me that I COULD leave him if I wanted to.

Hankster: This time you're right. I sometimes think I could have been much happier with someone else, but then again, maybe if I were with someone else, I may STILL have dreamed about someone else, on and on like my pattern. I've had a stable marriage, not too exciting, but not awful. We get along and I've got security. He's a good guy and I take him for granted too much. I doubt whether I'm gay. I wouldn't want to touch another woman but I don't care who touches me, man or woman. I don't know what I am. Just selfish maybe.

granite: that makes a lot of sense. Thanks.

sunrise: My T has told me that "you don't want to leave your marriage, do you?" line a few times. Last week and the week before. Last year too. I sort of remember that she said something about "you could find someone else" after the "you're young" comment. I don't know how she could think I'm young, but thinking of someone close to me who remarried at 79 or 80 makes me think she's right. Yes, I'm going to discuss it with her.

farmergirl: you're probably right. Thank you.