I think your mental health is worth more than physically looking better. I have put on fifty pounds and when I was thin, I wasn't necessarily any happier than I am now. yes, I know what it's like to be disgusted with your weight and looks with that weight, but you need to be smart about the way you approach it. talk to your doctor about switching up the meds and perhaps he or she can point you in the direction of a dietician. therapy would be helpful, too, if you're not already there. take care, be safe and don't end up where you were four and a half years ago! xoxo