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Old Jan 29, 2012, 08:27 PM
skycastle skycastle is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2011
Posts: 224
I may have had an important session this past week. My therapist took a more active stance with me and encouraged me to stick with a relaxation exercise that we have tried and failed, tried and failed, a couple of times in the past. I felt myself growing more and more distressed as we persevered. Then, the session ended, and while I was waiting for her to schedule my next appointment, I just got really reactive and tearful and shaky and couldn't concentrate on what she was saying to me. I ended up sitting down in the lobby to wait and then by the time she came back I was weeping. She invited me to sit in her office a few minutes. I broke down and sobbed for a minute and then we worked together to help me get to a more controlled place.

She tried to ask me a few things -- whether there were words (other than "****," which I muttered once, lol) to go with how I was feeling, whether it'd be helpful if she put her hand on my knee, whether this is what happens when I "slow down". I didn't have any answers or words -- just cried and said "I don't know" and "I'm sorry" until finally I noticed something funny in her office and started laughing. My head felt a little light from hyperventilating a bit. I calmed, said I need to breathe for a minute, she told me something funny, and then finally I left in a better place.

There is a tiny part of me that worries one of us did something bad or wrong because our interaction was really different and also because I demanded such a response from her and also couldn't really say what was going on. But most of me is just appreciative for a sweet, compassionate moment from her where she treated me like a human being and offered me comfort when I was having such an intense reaction (yet still a little detached). It was all very strange.

When I left, I thought, "that was very strange." But I didn't feel really scared or like I needed to do anything destructive or anything else. And maybe that's what makes difference. I hope things will be okay and am curious to see what my therapist thinks of what happened.

Just wanted to share. Am curious if anyone has had a therapist reach out like this and if it turned out okay.