Hi Spike87,

That part about her rage episodes sounds a lot like my 4 yo niece's recent behavior. She has even resorted to biting. Your description is strikingly similar. Many children go through periods like this. They can't help their behavior of course and it seems personality disordered individuals can have a similar disconnect with reality and loss of control when in these rage states. It varies in degree, of course, from person to person and their particular disorder. My narcissistic ex gf would stomp off with the time honored temper tantrum and accompanying silent treatment and refusal to listen (hands over ears). And some PD's can seem to lose total control and become wild and violent posing a danger to themselves and others. This is the way they impose their will on the other person. Anything else leaves them feeling out of control and vulnerable to their worst fear... abandonment (mentally or physically). The only help for her will come with therapy and finding out exactly where this defense mechanism stems from so a diagnosis and treatment can move forward. I'm not sure from what you said if she has seen a psychologist and the therapy is slow or it is taking time to even see someone. I can relate to you about feeling trapped and hopeless. Not wanting to leave nor feeling as if you can continue with the confusion, pain and anguish. Although mine was on a lesser scale in some ways, in others it was very similar. You need to seek professional help yourself to learn how to ward off the negative effects of your wife's behavior and/or recover from it should you eventually end the relationship. But please know that there is help and these problems are not insurmountable. And you can, in the very least, obtain guidance on how to part ways with your wife in a safe manner should that be necessary. And know it is a perfectly normal and viable option to consider in these situations. Nothing to feel guilty over. There are times when the person accepts help and times when they will be absolutely resistant. It sounds like your wife is willing. You can help her and also help yourself concurrently in various ways. This is not an either/or proposition. But professional help is needed to sort that all out. I wish you the best.