A lot of abuse as a child leaves memories that we never erase as adults. I was beat with a belt as a child until my butt was bruised and belittled and told I was worthless. I was told to drop out of school, get married, and raise babies because I was useless for anything else. What is important is to take control of your life so that those horrors do not control you for the rest of your life. Thank God I found help through a trusted counselor and a pastor. I went on to get a Masters degree and find a productive life
I still freeze up when someone yells at me but I refuse to believe the old messages. By all means talk openly with your therapist you can heal from all of this and lead a better life.I still tend to take a lot of blame for things that probably are not my doing but I am getting better. Talking about it with a trusted counselor will make a big difference
Lots of hugs and I wish you well. You deserve to be happy and have a better life