I know how you feel, wishing for the hypomania... it feels so good when it comes, it's almost addicting. I'll admit, I've had my moments where I've contemplated going off my meds so I could feel the hypomania.

The funny thing is, when the hypomania turns dysphoric, I find myself wishing I was depressed. Yeah, depression sucks, but at least the restlessness, anxiety, and racing thoughts don't plague me.