I relate to these main points you described.
I do not like walking past people or asking for things or people looking at me. Right now, when I do go out, my mentor is teaching me how to look at people and smile when I walk past them. OMG I am so scared.
I have PTSD from being traumatized by many people in many ways, starting with my aunt (see profile if you want) So I am slowly relearning how to interact.
I too seem to take a long time making sure that I look "normal".
I relate to jumping when i am suddenly confronted by a person, as you described, for example in that elevator. I react that way when I leave a public restroom and someone is right there! Or, like you said, turning a corner. I am also learning how to speak in group settings.
I too get very fixated on people---right now I am obsessed with a dead author. lol And when one obsession leaves me, there's another one! lol
I live in an imaginary world, too and I am 44.
Many people bore me, too. I simply cannot relate to them when all they seem to do (not all of them but so darn many, it seems) is talk about surface issues, other people, etc. instead of ideas and ideals. I too have an inability to connect with others.
My imaginary friends do comfort me too. They understand me.
I don't think there is anything wrong with that as long as we know reality from fantasy.
You are not so unusual.
Welcome!
Billi
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leah Jade Milano
It is hard for me to even go to the cafeteria and get food because I feel uncomfortable aruond people and don't like people looking at me.
I take an hour getting ready to just go out for a few minutes making sure I look normal and okay.
I JUMP when I'm in the elevator, and the elevator door opens and I see someone waiting to get in on the other side.
Or when I turning a corner, and someone is on the other side just walking. I feel very self conscious in class so I don't speak because I don't know what to say and feel uncomfortable.
Secondly, I have literally no friends. I am in college, but I struggle with making connections with people. Whenever I'm around people, disregarding my uncomfortableness, because sometimes it's not there, I feel bored. PEOPLE GIVE ME NOTHING. I don't know why but I can't bring myself to care for people, not even my own parents. I don't feel deep attachments for anyone, I recieve barely any satisfaction from human interaction. I think I am capable of being happy from a friendship, but I can't be sure because the last time I had a genuine friendship was a decade ago at age 10.
Thirdly, I obsess over people.
Lastly, I have a rich fantasy world. When I can't find satisfaction from the outer world, I find satisfaction in my mind. I have imaginary friends (I'm like 20 yrs old), who have highly developed personalities and I talk to them in my mind and they talk back to me in my mind. They are my only respite. I don't know if everyone has this, but I feel so lonely all the time and they offer me comfort from this loneliness.
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