Dear T - soon to be old T as we are terminating tomorrow,
How is it that you can wound me so instantly and effectively?
You essentially demand a letter from me telling you where we went wrong and where the ruptures were (since you didn't listen to me when I told you in person). Then as we are "in the closure process" (from HELL i might add), you tell me you want me to tell you all the good things I am taking away- "since you were so articulate in telling me what all I did wrong, Kiya". OUCH!!!!.
SO (bad word bad word bad word) I sent you another letter telling you what went well, what I would be taking away, how you modeled important things for me. I felt so bad about how you phrased "articulate in what I did wrong" that I felt broken hearted and put in the title "YOU ARE STILL MY PERSON" as well as in the body of the letter.
Today, you send me a reply saying thanks for that... and instead of the title being "Re: You are still my person" it said "Closure work".

She took out "you are still my person".

She took it out. She's no longer my person. just like that. a cut to the heart. Another contradiction. she says "Were in a relationship that goes on". she gave me a stupid gorilla holding a heart. she took away "you are still my person". how can she wound me so swiftly and effectively? How do i let her? WHy am i even going tomorrow. I should walk in, hand her a flower (it's her b-day), say good bye and walk out.

I cut the heart off the gorilla. I gave it to owlet for her bag of things that T has gven her. THe gorilla i threw back on the pile of stuffies. No hear. just the red patch that shows were MY heart used to be and the jagged edge that remains. I should know better by now. Therapy sucks. "trust me trust me... give me your confidence.... " WHAM. pull the rug out every other time or two... keep plying me back like a dog with a bone.... WHAM. I must be RALLY damn gullable.