I also wrote a much longer bit on why I have so many hangups about sex, intimacy, getting close to people, and even just hugging. Why I, as an adult woman, cannot form ADULT romantic relationships. I've racked my brain for years and years trying to think of anything at all that may have happened—abuse, molestation without knowing it, inappropriate behavior towards me from adults, and I couldn't think of anything. It's quite frustrating.