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It's going to take ages just to get the help I want because no-one so far has taken me seriously.
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When you say no one has taken you seriously, do you mean the people around you or the doctor(s)? You mentioned you were a teenager..but are you of legal age to act on your own behalf? I'm not sure what social services are available in the UK but perhaps others on PC who are in the UK might have some suggestions on how to seek help.
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I'm terrified of making mistakes. Not just in my job, but in life in general. I'm a perfectionist, I HAVE to get everything right, I HAVE to do better than everyone else, I HAVE to do better than even I think I can. If i make a mistake, I get even more anxious, I beat myself up for it, I dread others coming to me and saying 'you messed up, now you're in trouble.' I worry so much.
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There could be an underlying reason for this perfectionism. That is certainly worth delving into as it is affecting you so negatively.
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It was a dream about the person who attacked me, coming back to get me like he said he would.
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I don't know the details of that situation but it sounds extremely traumatic, and another thing that you might want to talk about with a T if you haven't already.
You know what you need and you are not getting it. Your mind is telling you (actually screaming at you) that you need help. I really hope you can find a good counselor of some sort soon. and please post as often as you need to vent. We'll do our best to help you.
