Title says it all. I'm really strugling not to stop taking my meds. Lately I've been feeling so... emotionless. Not like a zombie or anything, just like I've not been letting myself feel. I don't think this is the new meds, because I felt the same way before, but a lot of me is missing the crazy feelings that come with BP. I find myself missing some of my darkest depressions and highest manias simply because I miss how intense they were feelings wise.

I've been talking about this in another thread - my new inability to have emotion - and I'm really just craving having it back.

I just wanted to put that out there. I don't think I'm in danger right now, mostly because I don't want to disappoint my mother. That sounds pathetic, but there you have it. She means the world to me, and I know all she wants is for me to be healthy again.

Does anyone else understand, or have I just become an attention-seeking loser who misses being sick? I'm not saying I'm better, I have far to many other issues (not advertised because they're not diagnosed) to be better, but I am on the road to recovery. Why this new urge to take steps back!?

I'm going to stop posting for the night. I think it's making it worse...