I feel relieved that you are able and willing to talk to your psychologist. There is, from my view, and the view of many sane people, no shame with mental illness. Nor should there be guilt. It is just chemicals in the brain that aren't quite working properly. I mean shakesphere goes in and hemingway comes out. The mind of people like us doesn't filter information received properly. Too much info. Not info info. Info that has changed since entry through eyes, ears touch. No shame. No more pain. No more pain...