Okay, so I finally got that intense emotion I wanted: Rage, frustration, self hatred, and depression.

Ever since I started these I've been staying up late because of them, but then when I do sleep I can't wake up until I've had 11-14 hours of sleep (Not an exaggeration). I set 5 alarms to get up in the morning, and I didn't hear any of them. I set 2 to get out the door because I have class, and they went off 10 min after I got up. I can't do this any more. I want my day back!!

I hate that I can't stop sleeping, and that I can't get up, or get to class like a normal person. I've got a test in this class next week, on a subject that I barely know, and this is going to me my 2nd class missed out of 3! I can't do this anymore I hate this!! I can't stop eating!! I wish I could just sleep, and eat, and go outside without freaking out like a normal person.

Sure there's been some good side effects. When I'm awake, I'm awake and not falling asleep on my feet (like I am usually with a good nights rest), and my joints don't hurt. I really appreciate that because I'm use to being in constant pain and now it's just a stiffness every now and then. But it's not worth it. I'd take the pain and the sleeping all back if I could just fracking wake up!!

I talked to my mom when I woke up, and she said we'd talk about it. She was serious... that makes me worry.

Cheers to the expressive colors...