I understand the feeling, I was given a lot of different meds initially, looking for the right fit. I had some bad reactions to Depakote and the doc told me that let him be the judge. I am having success with Lithium (it's old school but rather tried and true) and Olanzapine (zyprexa). I'm so glad to have found something that works but it was a process...I did gain weight but I have since lost it. Good Luck.