I suppose it's good, but I don't know if I'll be able to follow through with it. Getting help means having a problem, and having a problem (to me) means a lack of perfection in my character.

Speaking of rejection and marriage, we got into a tad bit of a fight last night. Oddly enough, because he won't have sex with me. He says he wants the "perfect moment" and I know and understand that, however it also feels a bit like rejection. Since sex is physical, I just feel so.... not good enough. Even though being with him makes me feel more beautiful than anything. It's annoying, I get the kind of relationship I want, and I just can't be happy. He respects me and loves me and wants everything to be perfect and to have meaning, and all I can feel on his decision to wait is rejection..