Falling in love with a caring, concerned doctor or therapist is a pretty common occurrence. They are there for you when you are at your worst, helping you muddle your way through, and show compassion pretty much all the time. What you are experiencing is the office side of the doc. You need to know the whole person before you can really decide it's love. And you need to be mentally stable to decide if you are getting any signals at all.

In general, it's pretty taboo for docs to go out with their patients. You stated several good reasons for not telling her anything: whats the worst that can happen she turn me down, wont see me anymore, hate me? my life is over anyway, it'd just give me a solid reason to go home.

Until your depression is firmly under control, I'd suggest you enjoy your office visits as much as you like, but keep your feelings to yourself.