I can't watch movies, lately. I walk a lot. I listen to the radio. I go to the library. I can't understand much anymore. Even books, I just drift off. I'm doin time on earth. I'm not sad about it. It is a pretty place. Maybe I'll heal, not today I guess. Maybe after I pass, I'll be loved in a lovely world. maybe. If not, well guess it is better to not think about what isn't. why, you know...why. I mean it has all meant nothing, everything that has been created, it meant nothing. why, why does creation have no meaning for humanity, cept me, I guess. Guess we will die and suffer together, it and I. We matter together. its not bad.