First of all, you are not a burden on us at all. And I we do not hate you! I dont know if you have depression, if you do you must have something else too. Like schizophrenia or something. I really think you should see a doctor about this. I think it would help you a lot to have some sort of medication and especially therapy. I have depression, and I know it's making me miserable, but I just started therapy and Prozac so hopefully I will start to get better . I really want you to be able to get some help too! (((WelcomeToTheJungle)))