I'm going through what sjkero described in her thread. Big time! I know some of the reasons why. The session was okay but I was very nervous and shaky though we did breathing first. I think I was embarrassed about last week's session. I also wanted it to be as good, so I was setting myself up for disappointment.

I didn't feel as comfortable so I couldn't relax enough to talk like I did last time. We ended up talking about an incident of not getting to the bathroom in time when I was in kindergarten and how ashamed I felt. The problem is that we've done EMDR with that already. Sometimes I think: what's the point of going over all this from my past, but I feel like I have to.

So, when we ended I didn't feel like I accomplished very much. My T said that I did great and that it may seem like not very much got done but little by little I'm working on these issues.

I didn't hug her because I felt all sweaty and icky. I should have anyway.

I sort of wanted to tell her something that was bothering me but I thought it was so stupid and irrelevant that I didn't tell her.

So, what did I do? I came home and emailed her about it right away!
I feel so frustrated now. I want to get over my issues but it's not happening so fast. I wish I could see her every day!!

I wish I could call her but that's a whole ordeal of her emailing me a time when I can call. I don't know if it's worth it.

I think I learned that when I have something to say, SAY it no matter how stupid I think it is!! Otherwise, I will be miserable when I leave.

Oh, about my H. She said she didn't think I knew I had a choice. I complain about him a lot. She wasn't suggesting it, just wanted me to know that I do have choices in my life.

Could I please have some hugs?