Hey! My name is Marian and I have bipolar disorder type II. Before that I was diagnosed with an eating disorder, which I suffered through for several years.
The year 2011 (may it be stricken from the record of time) was a living hell of hypomanic and extreme depressive episodes. However, I'm currently on a brand new medication and I've been "stable" for a month and a half. Life is definitely better.
Well.. mostly. Situationally, the only complaint I have is that I'm single--and trust me, I complain about that one A LOT. Emotionally? Good question. I don't really know where I stand with that one. Having been suicidal for so long, I'm still getting used to "normal" emotions, whatever that means. Right now it just feels like I don't have any at all. From what I've observed of myself, I tend to show emotion for the sake of fooling a crowd. But when I'm by myself I spend most of my time apathetically analyzing everyone and everything around me until I can make sense of it all (or at least until I have assured myself of the universe's unlimited complications, after which I resort to daydreaming to pass the day away). I justify everything and do nothing. I don't enjoy school. The men in my life--do I really want to say "literally" here?--are fictional beings fabricated by the genius of filmmakers and storytellers. I think of them often so that I can fool myself into thinking that I felt SOMETHING that day.
Basically, I'm medicated and now I've got more problems. Great.