HelloAnxiety and XXKaneLoves ZoeXX,

I am not very experienced in actually trying to communicate with a loved one in my life, but I can suggest how I see one.

Our reactions to situations can be totally influenced by our emotions (fear, panic, anger, jealousy are some of the big ones). And, these can be influenced even more knowing the 'BPD' is involved.

But, why let it? The things you wrote about in this post HelloAnxiety are things that you could talk about to XXKaneLovesZoeXX. The most important thing for you both is to communicate. That's true for all people (Labeled or not).

BPDers may appear not to want you at times, but rest assured they 99.99% of the time do! Our overheightend emotions usually don't last too long and then we regret what we've said or done. So, perhaps try to stay strong for that time remembering this.

And, how we react and respond to one another is always important too. If we panic or get upset and we yell...well that is a no where/ no win situation. Learning how to respond to one another is key.

Story: I was preparing a nice meal for a young neighbor I have. He was going through a rough time. I saw him talking to a neighbor and went out to tell him that this supper was done. He was angry at the time. He blew up at me, so I blew up at him. We were yelling and screaming in the parking lot. Later, the next day, we regretted it. I told him that I should have said, "Knock it off and get your butt upstairs!" He said that he wished that I would have said that and that he would've gone upstairs to eat. If I simply would have responded in a less threatening manner, it wouldn't have gone that far.

I don't think that people really want to fight, argue, or abondon one another down deep. We really want those around us to stay around us. We just want our morals/values to be met in the relationship. The trouble starts through misunderstandings or mistakes that someone made against our morals. We want those mistakes/misunderstanding brought to the surface and we want to hear 'my bad' from the other. I am not so sure why that has become so frightening for people to say. If you make a mistake, just say it, 'my bad'.

Keep the communication going. Work on the emotions & reactions. From what you both wrote, I think that you have a special bond already. Don't lose that.