Hi,

Im sorry to hear your feeling so conflicted. Have you perhaps thought of seeking therapy? To be honest not all women are going to want to be either protected or dominated so i think if you did some work on why you feel this way it might help improve your chances of having a more sustainable relationship.

As for the bondage issue, its perfectly normal to want to explore some of our fantasies, i personally am a huge BDSM fan - im a sub and i really enjoy torture but then my relationship with pain is complex and deeply rooted in past experiences. Not all women want it taken that far so i understand your fear about not hurting women more than they desire it.

I really hope you find a way of resolving these issues as their clearly affecting you greatly and that can't be fun. In the meantime if you ever need to chat feel free to PM. Good luck.