Ok, I will post the letter for a little bit then I'm erasing it in fearing that my T will know it's me. So have at it while you can.

T,
,
This is really hard for me to bring up and I tried on several occasions to forget about what happened, but I can't get them out of my mind. As you know trust and honesty is very important to me and I feel a little let down by your actions, along with your receptionists. I feel as though I have been lied to by both your receptionist and yourself about my appointment that needed to be cancelled- and it really hurt my feelings. As you know because I have mentioned it to you before, I already struggle just trying to get in for appointments booked ahead in your schedule and there has been several occasions where I wanted to just give up and stop coming here because of the way I am treated by your front desk, but I continue to tough through it, as uncomfortable as it is, because I believe you are worth fighting for to see. You have helped me in so many ways and I want to continue to see you so you can continue to help me heal. I just want to have mutual respect, openness, and honesty with one another. I don't want to shut down again, I've come too far and I believe that continuing to see you truly will help me heal. How can I heal from this hurt and feeling of being let down and lied to?

I think that if this incident happened about 6-7 months ago, it wouldn’t have affected me this badly. It’s different now. I find myself missing you a lot. There are many days where I’m told that I’m worthless, stupid, a waste of people’s time and energy, and I should just go die because it will give the earth room for much better people to live on it. I miss you so much because not once have I heard such things from you. I feel accepted and it’s what I’ve longed for so much. When I think of my safe place, my thoughts automatically come here. It’s so safe with you here. I long for safety. I’m so grateful to have you in my life even though our time together is limited. There have been times that you have touched my heart so deeply I find it hard to express my feelings about your actions.

I like you so much that it hurts. I didn't think I could come to have these feelings of genuinely liking someone again. I disliked the world and the people who inflicted trauma upon me. I was ready to give up on life completely. I was lost and you rescued me somehow. Thanks to you, I've opened up more to family and friends. You've helped give me the strength, courage, confidence, and guidance I desperately needed and still do to reach out to my love ones. Now I spend time with my sisters more than I ever did before and I’ve become so close with my friend who moved far away. You have a very special place in my heart now because when I need strength to help me make it through really hard days, I think of your kindness and somehow it makes things much more tolerable. I don’t think I could ever thank you enough for all your help. I want to move past this hurt but I need your help.

(Any feedback is greatly appreciated)