I really admire you for working with your boyfriend and learning ways to help. Maybe you could use help for anxiety and being a "people pleaser" because I can see how being with a bpd would feel really risky all the time since you want to please (be liked? is that the same or no?) When I reject my partner, he gives me space because he is fairly confident that I don't really hate him. I don't know how he gets that confidence except by being very rational (he is a mathematician) and from practice over a long time--knowing that in the past I have always come around and recognized that he is not my enemy here. You want to make people happy; that's lovely, and you don't deserve to feel worried about rejection. So practice being able to turn away for a minute and comfort yourself while he gets some air. I'm not a good therapist so that probably sounds too simplistic...maybe a therapist for you--short course--for dealing with these different personalities and conflicts?