Thanks, yeah I remember times before starting treatment for dissociation that I had weird anger outbursts and never was able to figure out why. In therpay I was told since I refused to stay connected to the feeling of anger that it was seeping out my body in other ways such as impulsivity. I seem a little calmer but sometimes these surges of anger and when I think about it there is no real connection to why the anger. I have pent up anger most of my life because I had a parent dx with bipolar with rage not depression, however I am now seeing that there may be a coralation of her possible being borderline as well. I know she has had a long history of emotional problems and never got treated for them. I just got a reserved book called surviving the borderline parent so I will read it and see how it applies to the trauma I went through with her. I have been through going on 5 years sometimes intense therapy for trauma/abuse PTSD/DID and thought now that all of me lived harmoniously that things would get better, when I look through the recovery at when I was at my worst and was getting told I never really wanted to get better, I think there were so many stressors that all my dx were getting intermingled and that maybe all along BPD was the one that was bringing on all the intensity. I keep getting told by those that treated me there for the other that I was not BPD that the 2 look very similar because parts learned unhealthy coping skills to survive. Though I was taught how to work with that area, if BPD is also there then there is more for me to learn. That the times where I was being told I was triggered from a past thing or having a flashback, that maybe some of those times were when the BPD was very difficult. Learning some added coping skills for the "stressors" that bring on an episode of panic and anger that lead to thoughts of suicide and self harm is only going to make me stronger.