I also found there were feelings behind the feelings behind the feelings.

The vulnerability was pretty huge, actually.

I found it came in waves. And the waves came more intensely around evening. I found that if I charted it (okay, this is a little dweeby), it helped me, so I went onto moodscope.com and saw there were some patterns to it all, which I found some small comfort in.

Mostly, though, it took time. And telling myself that this was why I had embarked on the therapy journey to begin with. Now, however, I am in search of a Therapist with a very different outlook than the last two that I have tried.

Enough about me. SD, I think you are really breaking through. Your posts sound so much more open, investigative. This stuff is hard...and I'm so glad you have taken some risks!

Hang in there! Hugs to you!