This was the message I sent to my t yesterday. I tried to call, and was prepared to tell him:

I tried to call because I finally worked up the nerve. I would like to be able to trust u but i find it difficult because I don't always feel like you mean what you say. Obviously I have issues with this and I've been pushing myself to make it work. I feel like I've been pushed into trying to do more and I've been trying, but being pushed into something that I'm not really ready for isn't going to help, it puts more pressure on me.

This probably isn't the forum to post this but ii feel like I've gotten the most support here. I would love any words of encouragement since I'm meeting my t tomorrow and things didn't go so well with the pdoc. I'm scared