Wow Can't Explain. Thanks for this. You have a great insight to this that really resonates with me. I can't even find anything intellectual that I could say to communicate what I appreciate in what you said.

Soup, I must say that I have struggled with the knowing that there will be termination at some time. My t and I have made an agreement that we will still have some sort of contact while we are both alive. It was really the only way to settle me down. Now we did not negotiate what that would be. I also constantly reassure myself that my t will not make me leave until I am ready or a tragedy would happen. I remind myself that when the time comes to have an end to "therapy" I will feel differently. There is a story that t has read to me many times by Thich Naht Hahn about an emporer and the importance of mindfulness. The lesson is that the most important thing in life is what you are doing at the present moment and the most important person in your life is who is right in front of you. Otherwise you may get swept into that fear of the unknown and termination. I know I do not only get swept away in therapy but in other aspects of my life. It seems to be just magnified in therapy. Keep talking about it. I am curious of how you will sort it out. Perhaps a conversation with t similar to the one I had. Who knows, you may be able to negotiate a deal like I did and you won't have to worry so much.