I took the letter from ex-T, let her read it, asked her to hold it for me. She double checked with me that I didn't want the letter, I told her that I don't know if I want it. I might want it some day, but for now I want it out of my house, and asked again if she would just put it somewhere for me for a while.

It was ok. I didn't cry. Ok, maybe a little, but not much. Nobody farted, audibly at least.

I missed ex-T like heck after I got home from seeing new-t. I guess that's how it's going to go for a while, I just tried to breathe through it, not DO anything about it, and finally took a klonopin.

It's hard to feel okay about anything right now, but my mantra for the week is 'choose to have hope' and that's what I'm doing.